Merry Christmas to me....NOT!!!

Leave it to my parents to find a way to ruin my Christmas!
I was quite prepared to enjoy a full week at my granny's house and terrorize aunt Tahlor, run from grandpa gripeypants, and ignore my two parents.
These plans were squashed quickly when I realized that my mother had brought an
intruder into the home!
The intruder is black, stinks like milk, has sharp teeth, and cries in her crate. Her name is Jolly, and she's my new sister. UGH! WHY would they do this to ME??!!

To the left you can see me eyeing this creature of stink!! She steals my spot on momma, and acts like she's helpless so my parents carry her around the house. She cries all night, and whines when she doesn't get her way. She even turns into a little mean muntant dog when left in the crate for longer than she likes. She clings onto the crate, shakes to door and howls like she's dying. (AND SHE'S NOT! SHE'S A FAKER!!)
However, my parents refuse to get rid of her and continue to lavish attention on her that should be mine!
I of course, found a way to extract my revenge upon all 3 of them! Jolly has her "special" food that smells mighty tasty. I was not allowed to nibble on any of which is totally not fair! Big brother's should be able to try the food first to make sure it's not bad.
While mom was preoccupied and dad was playing with evil Jolly I stole the puppy food, and hid underneath the bed with it. I made sure to eat through the bag over by the wall that way, no one could reach me. As soon as I ate half of the yummy pebbles of deliciousness mom found me and pulled the mattress off the bed to pick me up and take the bag of food away from me. RATS!!!! I As you can see I at least got half of the food first.
I think I may need to be nice to this little harpie and get her on my side..yes...she may come in handy quite quickly.

Couch Me Sundays!

Sunday is my favorite day of the week! Daddy is gone at work so he can't punish me, mom is busy doing her homework and I am left alone to snooze on the couch and watch the boob tube.
Last Sunday my mother made it her personal mission to annoy me at every possible second, and keep me from getting my fatnaps. I guess she thought I was sick because I wasn't eating anything, or stealing pens from her backpack. ( I also helped myself to a big load of kitty chocolate before she saw me but that's just between me and you!) So naturally I was tired! I had just finished a very important covert operation, ate the chocolate yuminess and didn't get yelled at, or put in the dungeon of doom.
While I sprawled myself out on the couch to enjoy my muzzle licking good traces of cat chocolate my mother kept poking me. Every single time I fell asleep she'd walk in stare at me until I opened my eyes and saw her big head in front of my face and said, "are you alright?"


Over and Over and Over and Over and Over again!

She then, proceeded to photograph every move I made. Do you see her obsession with me? at first I tried to be nice but as the photos progress you can see my annoyance. Photo 1: "You woke me up" Photo 2: "I'm watching t.v. evil wench mother!" Photo 3: "DO YOU SEE ME STICKING MY TONGUE OUT AT YOU??" Photo 4: "god please strike her down."





Normally I am used to such amazement and admiration for my handsomeness and wonderful personality but not on SUNDAYS. Does my retarded mother NOT realize that Sunday is the day of rest, and that is exactly what I will do?
Apparently not! She even waved Delicious the cat in front of my face. Taunting and insulting me as if I, were that trivial to lunge off the couch for that stupid fat ear-less cat. No!
I extracted revenge upon my mother hours later when I stole cheese out of her hand, and then farted right in her face while she was watching t.v.

adventures of Delicious at the Maci Day Parade

My cousin Maci came to visit me for Thanksgiving! Oh my gosh, another visitor for me king Ike!

Along with Maci came my auntie Taylor who often thinks she's my boss. She's always trying to teach me "tricks" or to "behave". Silly Tahlor (as I call her) hasn't realized this king obeys no one!

Anyways, while Tahlor was blabbing on with my insolent mother I took Maci off to play with my cat.

The cat has no name because I ate his face! hahaha. I guess I should just refer to him as "delicious the cat". I couldn't wait to show dodo-bird Maci what this cat can do! It's amazing I tell you!

To get the full effect I had to demonstrate "Delicious the cat's" powers. As usual Delicious is left to bleed stuffing all over the floor in my bedroom. I had Maci follow me in. I hopped up on the bed, and then took a flying leap of fat power right smack down on Delicious's belly. "GRRRR" it yelped at me and then I rolled off! Delicious the cat growls at me!!!!!!!!! Once I showed Maci I grabbed Delicious by the ear, and dragged him down the hall.

As soon as I got into the living room I was bombarded with, "No Ike", "Give that to me fat pig!", and my personal favorite, "Look at the mess you made piggy!!". I dropped Delicious at my whiny mothers feet and took off with Maci. I wasn't going to let my mom embarrass me in front of my guest.

After entertaining Maci with my ability to run so fast my tail goes straight, she slobbered on my head and I fell asleep from exhaustion. What host wouldn't? I showed her my prized possession (she wasn't allowed to touch though) and entertained her with my fantastic gifts of speed. Soon after Maci was taken back to her house, and I was left with Delicious the entire weekend!!