Dear Great Nanny D,
You are delicious! Your deliciousness is why I must call you "great nanny 'D'". I really loved your last visit, even though you wouldn't let me sit on your lap or lick you that much. Maybe the next time you come to see me you'll have taken a nap before and be in a better mood. I love you so much, I hope you do! Your last visit just was not long enough! If I didn't know better, I would have thought you came to see my mom instead of me - which we all know is just, wrong.
However, after you came back from eating lunch with mom and I tried to jump on you and slather you with kisses you threatened me with your cane. Such flattery is not needed, Great Nanny D! You know I love you so. Your skin is so yummy and you smell like pretty perfume.. not that tacky stuff Jolly smells like. I just want to cuddle up next to you and suckle on your arm skin for hours. I promise I won't let go! I tried so hard to impress you. I came over to visit you 4 times and each time you waved me away. I know you thought it was only fair that I visit other family members like aunt Tahlor, but I like you bestest. You are my best good friend! I can't stay away Great Nanny D!
Can I come live with you? I know you'll treat me good. You'll throw me in the back yard and feed me pieces of turkey to come back in the house. I know you'll even let me squash cocoa the fatty. She's old and you need a new friend, pleeeezzzze let it be me! Don't worry, mom won't miss me that much. I'll leave Jolly behind and me and you Great Nanny D can go chow at Olive Garden together!
Oh please Nanny D! Please Please!
All you other Ike lovers, you ain't got nothin' on my Great Nanny D!
*paw paw*
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Daddy No!
My dearest fans and admirers,
I know it has been way too long since I last updated about my life. I was away for some time because dad had to go to training for awhile with the army. At first, I enjoyed this new found freedom since that would mean mom would have limited eyesight on what I'm up to. I soon learned however, that meant that instead of dad letting me run around during the day me and that thing, Jolly were cooped up for 8 hours at a time! Can you believe that?
Jolly got sick once dad left, she was sooo upset (little faker!) that she started to throw up everywhere and poop like a chocolate ice cream dispenser at Golden Coral restaurant! Soon after, I started to feel ill. The vile little rodent had obviously poisoned my food supply in retaliation because it was HER favorite parent gone, and not mine.
I also noticed a change in mother. Instead of her yelling at us like always, she began to really stink as a parent! She didn't care what we did, and actually allowed us to eat what we wanted. I started to worry about my health!! I was allowed to snack on stuffing, panties, and pillow cases! All these things I had to do in moderation because there was no one watching over me! I almost thought mother was trying to kill us!!!!
However, once dad returned home it was fantastic! He was sweaty, s
tinky, and me and the vile rodent attacked with all our licking and suckling power! Since dad's return I have been able to resume my usual routine of hunting for underwear and hiding from Jolly the evil.
Speaking of the evil one, the stupid little turd broke her harness on Sunday so now she has to walk around with MY leash roped around her neck, like she's some fancy cow. Well cow is somewhat right, but not in a sexy Texas way.
Until later my adoring loves! *paw paw*
I know it has been way too long since I last updated about my life. I was away for some time because dad had to go to training for awhile with the army. At first, I enjoyed this new found freedom since that would mean mom would have limited eyesight on what I'm up to. I soon learned however, that meant that instead of dad letting me run around during the day me and that thing, Jolly were cooped up for 8 hours at a time! Can you believe that?
Jolly got sick once dad left, she was sooo upset (little faker!) that she started to throw up everywhere and poop like a chocolate ice cream dispenser at Golden Coral restaurant! Soon after, I started to feel ill. The vile little rodent had obviously poisoned my food supply in retaliation because it was HER favorite parent gone, and not mine.
I also noticed a change in mother. Instead of her yelling at us like always, she began to really stink as a parent! She didn't care what we did, and actually allowed us to eat what we wanted. I started to worry about my health!! I was allowed to snack on stuffing, panties, and pillow cases! All these things I had to do in moderation because there was no one watching over me! I almost thought mother was trying to kill us!!!!
However, once dad returned home it was fantastic! He was sweaty, s
tinky, and me and the vile rodent attacked with all our licking and suckling power! Since dad's return I have been able to resume my usual routine of hunting for underwear and hiding from Jolly the evil.Speaking of the evil one, the stupid little turd broke her harness on Sunday so now she has to walk around with MY leash roped around her neck, like she's some fancy cow. Well cow is somewhat right, but not in a sexy Texas way.
Until later my adoring loves! *paw paw*
Friday, May 28, 2010
Me!
Dear my loving fans,
Here are the photos you've requested... and NO you cannot have my p
aw-agra
ph.
For all you Jolly Lovers, here are a few ugly photos of the little tattle tale:
Here are the photos you've requested... and NO you cannot have my p
aw-agra
ph.For all you Jolly Lovers, here are a few ugly photos of the little tattle tale:
Where have you gone?
Mom and Dad tricked me! This level of such disregard for my personal enjoyment is unacceptable. They got me and Jolly the idiot ready to go and visit Maci, fat Shandi, Krash, and q-ball Chloe. After we got to the cousin's house we got to play out in the backyard of wonder and spend the night in cousin's dungeon of doggy-dun. However, the next morning mom gave me twice the amount of food and skinny minnie Jolly got doubles too! After letting us out to potty and play for about 45 minutes, we were ushered back into our crates. This is where the trickery began.
After being great babies and waiting patiently for mom and dad to come let us out after a couple of hours, we were stuck in the crates until 8 that night!! Yes, you read that right! 8 long, hott, hungry hours! Then, this nice frail lady came and let us out..... me and Jolly behaved ONLY because we felt like Hansel and Gretel...we didn't want her to eat us!
Tat shandi and evil q-ball were awful! (my doing of course) had to make mom and dad proud of me and the skinny minnie.
Mom and dad finally came back the next day and lavished us with love and attention - as expected but not allowing them to even THINK we forgive them for such betrayal. I'll know better the next time mom gives me double helpings...something is wrong, very, very wrong.
After being great babies and waiting patiently for mom and dad to come let us out after a couple of hours, we were stuck in the crates until 8 that night!! Yes, you read that right! 8 long, hott, hungry hours! Then, this nice frail lady came and let us out..... me and Jolly behaved ONLY because we felt like Hansel and Gretel...we didn't want her to eat us!
Tat shandi and evil q-ball were awful! (my doing of course) had to make mom and dad proud of me and the skinny minnie.
Mom and dad finally came back the next day and lavished us with love and attention - as expected but not allowing them to even THINK we forgive them for such betrayal. I'll know better the next time mom gives me double helpings...something is wrong, very, very wrong.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Too Smart !
My parents always think they can trick me. They have not learned that I am the more intelligent and superior being in the household.
At our old house mom thought she was sooo smart when she started shaking the treatsy bag to get me to come downstairs only for her to lock me up in the dungeon of doom! I quickly learned that the window hole in the wall of the stairs worked to my advantage. I started sitting on the landing peering through the wall hole to see if in fact, she was going to dole out a treat or just lock me up. She caught onto my tricks after about a week ... after that I had to switch stairs to sit on to spy.
Now, at the new house she says, "hungry?" and if she isn't holding my bowl I know that she just wants to trick me into my dungeon of doom. I have started to stand on the couch on the lookout for my food bowl..otherwise king Ike will NOT be prancing down the hall. Jolly the re-re on the other hand is not so bright. Everytime mom yells, "TINKY" or "HUNGRY" stupid Jolly goes running and always get put away...Ike will not go down like that. Stupid little Jolly.... she never learns..
At our old house mom thought she was sooo smart when she started shaking the treatsy bag to get me to come downstairs only for her to lock me up in the dungeon of doom! I quickly learned that the window hole in the wall of the stairs worked to my advantage. I started sitting on the landing peering through the wall hole to see if in fact, she was going to dole out a treat or just lock me up. She caught onto my tricks after about a week ... after that I had to switch stairs to sit on to spy.
Now, at the new house she says, "hungry?" and if she isn't holding my bowl I know that she just wants to trick me into my dungeon of doom. I have started to stand on the couch on the lookout for my food bowl..otherwise king Ike will NOT be prancing down the hall. Jolly the re-re on the other hand is not so bright. Everytime mom yells, "TINKY" or "HUNGRY" stupid Jolly goes running and always get put away...Ike will not go down like that. Stupid little Jolly.... she never learns..
Mirror Dog Returns
When I was a little puppy I encountered the scariest event of my life. This dog, that looked exactly like me! He would follow me no matter how I rolled on the floor! He would bark when I barked and would lunge when I lunged! I stuck my sniffer right up to his and then gave a fierce "GRRRRR" and hoped back all the way to the opposite wall in the living room.
After months of playing this game I started to hide from him under the kitchen chairs. I could see him, but he couldn't see me! I quickly forgot about this creature over a couple of months but last night he made a reappearance.
I was standing on mom's bed admiring my toned legs when I glanced up and saw that dang monster! He's as big as I am now! Almost as cute too. I growled at him, and gave a lunge in his direction. After almost falling off the bed I decided that wasn't such a great idea. I gave a huff and a puff and flipped myself around giving monster the butt! I will not be intimated by such stupid creatures. He just better beware, otherwise one of these days I'm going to eat him!
After months of playing this game I started to hide from him under the kitchen chairs. I could see him, but he couldn't see me! I quickly forgot about this creature over a couple of months but last night he made a reappearance.
I was standing on mom's bed admiring my toned legs when I glanced up and saw that dang monster! He's as big as I am now! Almost as cute too. I growled at him, and gave a lunge in his direction. After almost falling off the bed I decided that wasn't such a great idea. I gave a huff and a puff and flipped myself around giving monster the butt! I will not be intimated by such stupid creatures. He just better beware, otherwise one of these days I'm going to eat him!
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Trickery Trickery I fooled you!
Hearing my mom talk about stupid people last night reminded me of my last adventure. My nannybones grandma came to visit papa a couple of months ago. She had this huge delicious smelling chocolate treat in her pocket that I wanted.
So I being my cute little self strolled right over to her and started to love on her. This included rubbing all over her and an immense amount of licking. It only took me about 4 minutes to nab the chocolate bar and off I went!
It wasn't until 4 and half hours later that nannybones told my mom, "I could have sworn I had a protein bar with me". My mom looked right at me and said, "Did Ike come and visit you when you first got here?" Nannnybones replied, "Of course! He's such a sweet wittle baby!" My mother marched over to where I was laying down (hiding the wrapper underneath me of course, I'm not stupid!) and lifted up my paw. She held up the shiny wrapper for nannybones to see and said, "Is this your bar?" Nannybones looked confused for a very, very long time and then admitted that it was.
Silly little nannybones fell for my trickery. However, thanks to mom's quick wit I will have to change up my trickery routine the next time she comes for a visit.
So I being my cute little self strolled right over to her and started to love on her. This included rubbing all over her and an immense amount of licking. It only took me about 4 minutes to nab the chocolate bar and off I went!
It wasn't until 4 and half hours later that nannybones told my mom, "I could have sworn I had a protein bar with me". My mom looked right at me and said, "Did Ike come and visit you when you first got here?" Nannnybones replied, "Of course! He's such a sweet wittle baby!" My mother marched over to where I was laying down (hiding the wrapper underneath me of course, I'm not stupid!) and lifted up my paw. She held up the shiny wrapper for nannybones to see and said, "Is this your bar?" Nannybones looked confused for a very, very long time and then admitted that it was.
Silly little nannybones fell for my trickery. However, thanks to mom's quick wit I will have to change up my trickery routine the next time she comes for a visit.
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