Me!

Dear my loving fans,

Here are the photos you've requested... and NO you cannot have my paw-agraph.








For all you Jolly Lovers, here are a few ugly photos of the little tattle tale:

Where have you gone?

Mom and Dad tricked me! This level of such disregard for my personal enjoyment is unacceptable. They got me and Jolly the idiot ready to go and visit Maci, fat Shandi, Krash, and q-ball Chloe. After we got to the cousin's house we got to play out in the backyard of wonder and spend the night in cousin's dungeon of doggy-dun. However, the next morning mom gave me twice the amount of food and skinny minnie Jolly got doubles too! After letting us out to potty and play for about 45 minutes, we were ushered back into our crates. This is where the trickery began.
After being great babies and waiting patiently for mom and dad to come let us out after a couple of hours, we were stuck in the crates until 8 that night!! Yes, you read that right! 8 long, hott, hungry hours! Then, this nice frail lady came and let us out..... me and Jolly behaved ONLY because we felt like Hansel and Gretel...we didn't want her to eat us!
Tat shandi and evil q-ball were awful! (my doing of course) had to make mom and dad proud of me and the skinny minnie.
Mom and dad finally came back the next day and lavished us with love and attention - as expected but not allowing them to even THINK we forgive them for such betrayal. I'll know better the next time mom gives me double helpings...something is wrong, very, very wrong.

Too Smart !

My parents always think they can trick me. They have not learned that I am the more intelligent and superior being in the household.
At our old house mom thought she was sooo smart when she started shaking the treatsy bag to get me to come downstairs only for her to lock me up in the dungeon of doom! I quickly learned that the window hole in the wall of the stairs worked to my advantage. I started sitting on the landing peering through the wall hole to see if in fact, she was going to dole out a treat or just lock me up. She caught onto my tricks after about a week ... after that I had to switch stairs to sit on to spy.
Now, at the new house she says, "hungry?" and if she isn't holding my bowl I know that she just wants to trick me into my dungeon of doom. I have started to stand on the couch on the lookout for my food bowl..otherwise king Ike will NOT be prancing down the hall. Jolly the re-re on the other hand is not so bright. Everytime mom yells, "TINKY" or "HUNGRY" stupid Jolly goes running and always get put away...Ike will not go down like that. Stupid little Jolly.... she never learns..

Mirror Dog Returns

When I was a little puppy I encountered the scariest event of my life. This dog, that looked exactly like me! He would follow me no matter how I rolled on the floor! He would bark when I barked and would lunge when I lunged! I stuck my sniffer right up to his and then gave a fierce "GRRRRR" and hoped back all the way to the opposite wall in the living room.
After months of playing this game I started to hide from him under the kitchen chairs. I could see him, but he couldn't see me! I quickly forgot about this creature over a couple of months but last night he made a reappearance.
I was standing on mom's bed admiring my toned legs when I glanced up and saw that dang monster! He's as big as I am now! Almost as cute too. I growled at him, and gave a lunge in his direction. After almost falling off the bed I decided that wasn't such a great idea. I gave a huff and a puff and flipped myself around giving monster the butt! I will not be intimated by such stupid creatures. He just better beware, otherwise one of these days I'm going to eat him!

Trickery Trickery I fooled you!

Hearing my mom talk about stupid people last night reminded me of my last adventure. My nannybones grandma came to visit papa a couple of months ago. She had this huge delicious smelling chocolate treat in her pocket that I wanted.
So I being my cute little self strolled right over to her and started to love on her. This included rubbing all over her and an immense amount of licking. It only took me about 4 minutes to nab the chocolate bar and off I went!
It wasn't until 4 and half hours later that nannybones told my mom, "I could have sworn I had a protein bar with me". My mom looked right at me and said, "Did Ike come and visit you when you first got here?" Nannnybones replied, "Of course! He's such a sweet wittle baby!" My mother marched over to where I was laying down (hiding the wrapper underneath me of course, I'm not stupid!) and lifted up my paw. She held up the shiny wrapper for nannybones to see and said, "Is this your bar?" Nannybones looked confused for a very, very long time and then admitted that it was.
Silly little nannybones fell for my trickery. However, thanks to mom's quick wit I will have to change up my trickery routine the next time she comes for a visit.

Jolly, Bratz-Maroo!

Dear Fans,

I have been on a slight sabbatical - I'm sure you can imagine how I do need my time to rest. I had a couple of pedi-paw appointments with the lovely ladies at petsmart and decided to take a much needed vacation. This vacation included sleeping in until 9 a.m. and refusing to eat my breakfast unless the cage door was left open.
Despite my attempt to recruit Jolly the stupid, she is a crafty little minx that tricks me! I give her a little bit of trust, and what does she do? That little runt turns against me!!
I invited Jolly to watch me partake in a delicious snack of pink underwear. Since she is still in training she is NOT allowed to have a taste, only watch. However, after her attempting to steal the underwear and failing miserable (like I would fall her for tricks!) she started doing this horrible shrill barking that of course caught mom's attention. The stupid little girl got my snack taken away and I got spanked right on the butt!
I have yet to figure out how I want to deal with her...this nonsense with ratting me out is just unacceptable! Completely unacceptable!
Aside from her tattling on me like a little baby I had an adventure with a new toy last night.
After digging through dad's backpack I found a whole peanut butter jar and decided to try and open it. After batting it around for awhile I got it lodged underneath the couch and had to get mom's help to get it back out. I ripped off the label and almost got the top off before dad took it away. I'm hoping if I play my cards right i can get Jolly's help to break into the peanut butter jar (not that she will get any)...

There's a new delicious treat in town - Cat Tail!

Delicious the cat has been terminated!!! My evil mom decided to take Delicious away from me last month and hide it in the closet because I ripped its belly open, and ate half of it's stuffing. (very fulfilling and satisfying if I do say so.) I Incorporated Jolly's help to get Delicious back. I had Jolly pee on the floor in the living room, while I sucked up my gut and squeezed into the closet and ripped Delicious free!

I had Delicious all to myself for about 45 minutes before mom realized what I was gnawing on. By then, it was too late. I had eaten Delicious's tail right off of his body and swallowed it whole. Mmmmm good! Much to my mother's screaming at me, and massaging my belly, I did NOT throw up that cat tail. I refused!

About 3 days later however my belly was not feeling so hott. Mom kept telling dad, "Ike looks pathetic. How do I make him throw up? Can you stick your finger down a dog's throat?" I did my best to hide from her most of the day. Later on that night while lounging on my bed, I felt a rumble, and a tumble and *KABLAH!* up came the tail! At that exact moment, mom walked in and screamed "IS THAT A BIRD? WHAT DID YOU EAT???" She picked me up and locked me in my crate. Awhile later she let me out while she was cleaning up the cat tail. I watched as she turned her back, darted over and slurped that tail right back up!!! Mom turned around horrified and immediately begin to try and make me throw up. I refused of course.

It wasn't until another four days passed while visiting my grandparents house that I felt that old familiar pain. A rumble, and a tumble and *KABLAH* up the tail came again. This time however, mom was too quick and thew it away before I could nab it again.

Besides my mother stealing my delicacy away from me, I did manage to spill cranberry juice on her brand new couch. Dad was even mad about that one! Every morning mom takes me off the leash after going potty, makes me sit, and then I can come in the house. I came in the house, ran as fast as I could over to the kitchen counter, hiked myself up and started slurping up as much as that juice as I could get. I heard her screaming, "NO!!! NO!!! GET DOWN!!!" Did that stop me? Heck now! I used my turbo suction power and slurped up half of the cup, but accidentally knocked it over in the process. ......big no-no. I was banished to the dungeon of doom for hours!!!

Speaking of my dungeon of doom, stupid Jolly now sleeps with me. She keeps pooping and peeing in her crate, so mom and dad force me to sleep with her because its the only place she doesn't potty. (Not that I would mind because I've discovered I love to eat poop! Fresh poop, calcified poop I'm not picky) This however, doesn't bode well with me. She stinks! And she's greedy with the covers. I'm going to get rid of her..somehow.....