Momma!

Meet my mom a.k.a my slave!
Now, I of course look way cuter than she does, but I don't think she would agree. Anyways, slave mom pushed me out the door this morning to make me potty on the wet grass!
This woman is insatiable!! You would think after living with the king for this long, she would understand that I DO NOT WALK ON WET GRASS!! Why is she so dense? Must I poop in her shoes to prove a point? I tried to potty in the closet this morning, but oh no she caught me and made me go outside!
Did it ever dawn on her that maybe I did that so I wouldn't have to walk in the rain, get wet, or get dirt on my paws?? Do you even think she took an umbrella outside with us? She could have at least covered my Halloween bow on my harness!
I decided to make her pay for forcing me to go outside. I took an extra long time to find the prefect potty spot and I attempted to trip her and make her fall on the cactus plant!
Eventually, I will teach this momslave to do as I want. Until then, I must be devious and eat more of her panties.

Kitty Confetti

"Ike stop!", "Ike get out of there", "Ike no!", "Bad dog!!", *Swat on the butt*
This is the thanks I get for cleaning the cat box for mom and dad!
So what, if the kitty poop makes my mouth stink?
Who cares if I have kitty confetti (Grey gravel) stuck to my nose and my whiskers?
It gives me character!!!
It seems, that no matter how slick I am, mom and dad always catch me eating kitty poop.
You know, if they don't want me to eat it, then they shouldn't let that cat use the box!!
I'm just trying to be helpful.
If they would just let me eat it all, then they wouldn't have to clean it out anymore!!!!
In other events, I have teamed up with Xing to acquire ....PANTIES!!!!
Xing and I take turns dragging all of moms underwear from the laundry bucket into the bedroom and then we gnaw on it. It seems as though that cat is finally coming in handy!

The Fall

Last night was so much fun! Mom and dad let me sleep in the bed with them! I tried my best to be a good boy and not steal any panties while they were asleep. I took up most of the bed, because what king wouldn't?
but then, this morning I was walking around and decided to lay on the side of the bed when WAHM!!! I fell off! I think mom might have helped me a little but dang that was quick! My belly went "womph" and I went "gah" and then cried.
ohhh my tummy!!
In other news, I had to go a get a shot on monday. The vet was rude to my mom so I tried to pee on her hand! I missed , but she still had to clean me up!
Then, mom took me to playland (a.k.a. petsmart) and I got my nails clipped, and a new harness! they even sprayed me with pumpkin junk because I "stunk" hmf. I should fart pumpkin spice at them, see how they like that!

Camp Grounds

Talking about barfing in dad's shoes reminded me of when I peed in them.
My parents are stupid and thought I would enjoy "camping with them" as if! I don't even like rain to get on my fur, let alone my precious toes!
When I was about 4 months old we all had to go camping in Austin. So, we parked the car and mom proceeded to carry me for a mile down the road. I cried the whole time because the rocks she was stepping on were preventing me from sleeping. I guess she thought I needed to go pee so she put me down and then dad let me escape and he had to find me in some bushes.
After they finally set up camp, I was instantly miserable. They didn't bring a sleeping bag for me. I had to share a pillow with their big fat heads! I also was forced to accompany them on every walk, "experience with nature" and I got scared when the dumb deer would come up to the tent at night.
Anyways, they did take me to a creek and let me swim around with another pug that was there. I wasn't ready to leave when they were so of course, I had to get back at them for ending my fun.
I waited until dad fell asleep and walked over to his new shoes that he had just bought, aimed and peed inside both of them! I gave him the stink eye and then took a nap. Luckily, it didn't take him long to figure it out. I was in quite some trouble for that one, but mom stepped in and said, "he's just a baby. don't get so mad" if only my mother really knew....

Scatter!

My dad is tricky tricky! What he hasn't figured out is that I'm more crafty than he is.
For some reason, he believes that I don't know when he's about to capture me and lock me inside the fortress of doom. (again reference previous posts if confused.)
A couple of nights ago I was on the bed loving on mom when she told dad it was "past my bedtime". So dad thought he could just grab me like a football and hall me off down to my crate. FAT CHANCE! I watched him approach me and as soon as he touched me, I slipped right out of his hands. I ran in circles on the bed for maybe a minute before I let him catch me. If I hadn't of started feeling sick from running in circles he wouldn't have ever gotten a hold of me!
I was still mad at him for that so I waited until last night to commence operation: dragonsbreath! While visiting Maci, and the other cousins I made sure to get real stinky and ate bugs outside in the backyard. On the way home, I sat on dad's lap and put the plan into action. First, I hogged up all the airvents blowing my stink fur all over him. After about 5 mintues of that, I turned around and gassed him with my breath!
" EWWWW BUTT MOUTH" is the first thing he said after I breathed on him. Success!! I laughed a little to myself, pushed out a fart and then layed down to sleep the rest of the way home.
Once we got home, I was immediatly banished to my crate and put to sleep. If dad keeps this treatment up, I'm going to have to throw up in his shoes! ... or pee in them again like I did when we went camping!

Covert Operations

I love purses and backpacks, and wallets too!
No matter how hard my mom tries to hide these things I find them!
Over the past two weeks I have learned how to unzip my moms backpack and steal her snacks!
Mom started to put her backpack on the dining room chair so I have to stand on my hind legs and give it a nudge with my head. Then, it falls down and i'm in business.
Before I can commence my attack I have to sneak around the corner and make sure she's not near me or she'll start screaming " PIGGGY NO!" which I don't feel like hearing.
So, once I knew she was gone I pulled on this grip thing attached to the zipper and wallah! it's open! Once inside the backpack I hit paydirt!
There was a Ziploc bag full of cheerios! I gnawed through the bag and ate everything, and then the rest of the Ziplock bag for dessert.
After munching though that treat, I stole 3 pens and hid the dungeon of doom (reference previous posts if confused)
When mom's friends came over I tried to go through their purses but they were too quick -silly girls! Ike is innocent!!!
I also enjoy eating the straps on dads backpack but I get in big, big, trouble for that one so I have to be very, very careful.
Can't wait for my parents to get home and let me out i'm hungry!

Xing Xeo

Twice today I have been bit by that evil cat - Xing. For some reason my parents thought I would love and welcome this intruder into MY home.

This is Xing to the left, pictured with my mom. Xing is quite the character. He has too much attitude, almost as much as me which I don't like.

When he first arrived I was curious and went over to investigate him which he didn't appreciate. Ever since his first day here he's come under the assumption that he doesn't have to share his food with me, can bite my ears, and stab my belly with his claws. He also refuses to allow me in his poop holder and meows viciously at me.

Earlier this morning Xing was lying on the bed and I got up there to play with him. I guess he didn't want to play with me because he latched onto my ear and then proceeded to stab me right in the gut with his claw. I screeched out a painful howl and launched myself off the bed as fast as I could.

I left the cat alone for awhile, but then I realized it must have revenge brought upon it for it's evil deeds against me. While it was sleeping on the bed I sauntered up to it and poked him right in the head! That evil cat beaned me in the head with its claw paw of pain and then hissed spit right at my eyes!

Eventually this cat will become my minion. I try and place nice with it, but he won't have any of it. Each morning when mom lets me out I run down the hall to see Xing and try to nab some of his kitty chow. As soon as that cat See's me it launches into attack and refuses to allow access to the kitty chow and hisses at me. He then proceeds to bite me on the head so then I have to run and tattle to mom who of course, does nothing.

I did burp right in Xings face today and made sure to eat trash right before.

that cat will either become my friend, or suffer the wrath of King Ike, this I promise!