Sick Bay!

While digging through the bathroom garbage I got the feeling this was something that I had done before! While I was chewing on toilet paper I started to remember this incident:
Last Christmas my mom was really sick. She had been throwing up, and lying in the bed for two whole weeks! My dad refused to let me visit and lick her face. (I could have cured her, but oh no! don't let me help out) So later on my dad had to go to a wedding but my mom was so sick she couldn't go. Dad called my grandparents to come out and stay with her while he was gone.
I knew that once he left, mom wouldn't be able to control me and I took advantage of the situation. (what loving son wouldn't??) I was happily running around the house gathering panties for my new throne, when I heard someone arrive. I ran down the stairs and it was my grandparents and my auntie Taylor.
I dashed up the stairs and Taylor was sent to catch me.
"I'd like to see her try" I ran straight for the bathroom trash and started chowing down! Once I ate the toilet paper I discovered this yummy round tissue like object that I knew was a "face cleanser" as my mom calls it.
Auntie Taylor was hot on my trail so I had to be fast! I navigated around her feet and back down the stairs I went. My aunt was yelling "no" and "stop" along with "bad boy". The more she yelled, the more I was going to run.
Once she got downstairs I let her THINK she could wrestle the face cleanser pad out of my mouth. As soon as she got too close, I gulped it down! The look on her face was priceless! I was enjoying myself immensely until I started to feel a gurgle in my belly.
"UH OH" I thought! I had to run over to my water bowl and lap up the entire contents in hopes of it calming my stomach - and it did.
Should I let this past story deter me from eating through this yummy bathroom trash? I mean, this trash can is low and it's almost like an offering to me. Nah, if I eat something that makes my belly go "gurgle gurgle" again I'll just have to drink some more water!